What do children learn from punishment?
March 15, 2017
If you had told me eight years ago that I would not use punishment with my children I would have thought you were crazy. How would I have any control over my children?
I remember getting to know a new family in the neighborhood who didn’t use time-outs and I thought that was nuts. I was not going to be the kind of parent who let her children run rampant.
The funny thing is, now I don’t use punishment and haven’t for years…and my children don’t run rampant, thank you very much.
So what’s the deal?
There were two problems with my earlier ideas about punishment: (1) I didn’t have a clear idea of what punishment teaches children; and (2) I didn’t have a clear alternative model. (more…)
Parenting lessons from a seam in the shower door
March 8, 2017
I was getting in the shower on Saturday morning when I realized that my eyes where going to this one area on the shower, looking for grime. My eyes were drawn like a magnet to this seam in the door to see if there was crud there.
Now I sound like a compulsive neat freak, which I’m really not.
Maybe it was because it was just after my morning meditation. I noticed that my eyes were drawn there out of habit. I’d been checking this spot for weeks. I had been creating a minor habit of it.
What does this have to do with parenting? (more…)
Parenting (Living) By Design Rather Than Default
January 18, 2017
A horse suddenly came galloping quickly down the road. It seemed as though the man had somewhere important to go. Another man, who was standing alongside the road, shouted,
“Where are you going?” and the man on the horse replied,
“I don’t know! Ask the horse!”
This is a Zen story that points to our powerful our habit-energy. We have done it this way all of our lives, so that’s how we continue. (more…)
Honoring Your Needs
January 11, 2017
This week I’ve woken up early for my own gentle yoga and mindfulness practice every morning. I’m going to meet girlfriends for a book club gathering Friday and Bill and I are going out on a date Saturday night.
I have a need for quiet meditation to calm my crazy. I need time to connect with my friends. And I need time with my husband without our kids around.
How To Live Our Intentions Over The Holidays?
December 14, 2016
[I’ve made a special PRINTABLE PDF of 12 Holiday Intentions for you. Don’t miss it at the bottom of this post! – Hunter]
We often have our intentions, and how life actually is.
Mindfulness helps us see when there are discrepancies. Once we can see that, then we can come into alignment. (more…)