Just yesterday I asked my client, “How would you respond if they were 20-year old exchange students?”
She was frustrated because her 5-year old twins’ potty mouth problem had reached a peak. When it came to the dinner table, it was completely unacceptable.
So what to do?
The potty words had been very triggering, getting a real rise out of mom. For kids, that’s an invitation to keep going, because clearly those are powerful words!
Can you relate? What to do?
This is where I invite you to care less.
No, I don’t mean let your kids walk all over you. I mean, take the intensity out of the situation.
I was at a talk with Dr. Shefali Tsabari when she told us to love our kids but, “Care about them less.”
Care about them less?!?
Yes. We are often so wrapped up in teaching and trying to make them into an ideal person they’ll be in the future, that we bring too much emotion to the present.
Instead, can we just accept them as they are now, and respond to them with less drama?
How would you respond to your kids if they were just roommates in your house? Can that be enough?
The magic is, when our children feel unconditionally accepted, then they want to cooperate with us more.
With warmth & lovingkindness,
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